


Alone

by regionalatbest



Category: Amazingphil - Fandom, Danisnotonfire - Fandom, Video Blogging & YouTube RPF
Genre: M/M, Phan - Freeform, YouTube, phanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-30
Updated: 2013-09-30
Packaged: 2017-12-28 00:57:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/985749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regionalatbest/pseuds/regionalatbest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil leaves for Europe and Dan deals with feeling alone</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alone

When Phil first got the email from BlackBerry about the promotion that could let him do anything he wanted Dan thought it sounded amazing. He knew that Phil would love to travel and that he would really enjoy it. But for some reason it didn’t really hit Dan that he wouldn’t be going along with him until about a week and a half before Phil was due to leave. And when it did it sucked, because neither of them deal well with sleeping in separate beds, let alone being in completely different countries. Phil going to Florida was already the worst part of his year and even then it’s kind of okay because he’s with his family and has a lot of downtime to Skype Dan. But with this Phil would be moving from place to place a lot  and  filming a video so he wouldn’t have very much time at all to talk. Plus he was alone and no matter how many times he was reminded that Phil was an adult that could take care of himself Dan still worried. Because Phil still had to be reminded to bring his wallet when he went to the store and wouldn’t eat all day unless Dan made him and needed a night light to sleep (but that last one could just be because he doesn’t want Dan to feel bad about needing one) and Dan is afraid that Phil will leave his wallet in the room and forget to check out of whatever hotel he’s staying at on time and one hundred other things that probably won’t go wrong but could. And that alone made him want to convince Phil to let him tag along but he didn’t. Because this was a  Phil  thing and they did so much together and Dan even did some stuff without Phil and it would be good for Phil to do something alone for once.

  


Dan took him to the airport on a Tuesday and Phil didn’t even fight it, he didn’t even try to convince Dan that he didn’t need him to come because Phil knows that even if he’s only going to be gone a few days Dan will still miss him like crazy and he’ll take every last second to be with Phil that he can get before that. And if Phil sees Dan cry a little bit when he’s getting his bag out of the back of the cab he doesn’t mention it, and Dan’s grateful for that. He goes home and Phil has spent longer than this just at the store but Dan already misses him a ton and the fact that Phil’s flight keeps getting delayed isn’t really helping because every hour that it’s delayed is another that Dan could’ve spent with him. And when Dan tells Phil this Phil just asks him when he became such a big sap and Dan tells him that he really doesn’t know. But eventually Phil’s plane does leave and Dan can’t text him until he gets to Sweden so Dan resolves to complaining to the Internet. So he tweets that he’s alone for a few days and jokes about how he’s going to have all of this fun and then admits that he’s really just going to be lonely. 

  


He tries to keep from checking the clock every third second by telling himself that it will just make it take longer and he had nothing to worry about, Phil would get there without incident and he promised to text Dan as soon as he landed to tell him he was fine. But Dan still found himself checking the time on his computer every time he sent send on a tweet and checking when Phil was due to land and what the weather between here and Sweden was even though Phil wasn't due to have any weather problems. And the second it was the time that Phil’s plane was supposed to land he started waiting for the call that he knew would be there any second and still never seemed to come. Phil rang five minutes later but it had felt more like five years and Phil just told him that the runway was kind of backed up and that he forgot that he could go on his phone soon as they landed and then it was okay because Phil was on the ground. But then Phil had to go and it was slightly less okay because Dan had been waiting for Phil to land since he took off and now he didn’t know what to do. He ended up wasting time doing who knows what until he noticed that it was nearly nine and that he had a live show to do.

  


He probably spent too much time talking about Phil and the fans were more than likely going to speculate over that but at this point Dan didn’t even care. He wasn’t against them knowing about him and Phil anymore, it was just so natural for him to have them not know that he didn’t want to have to change. And soon as he was done he tried calling Phil but he didn’t pick up so he resolved to making dinner. The days following weren’t much different. Dan woke up, checked if he had any messages from Phil, checked Twitter, ate breakfast, tried to call Phil, went on Tumblr, got dressed, ate some more, called Phil, tweeted about being lonely, lost three hours by laying on his bed or in the hallway until Phil finally had a minute to call him back and then spent as much time as possible wishing that Phil would call again. Dan knew that Phil wasn’t intentionally not calling him, that he was just  really busy and if he had it his way they would talk a lot more but it was just how it had to be. It wasn’t until Thursday that Phil texted Dan asking if he could Skype, Dan knew that Phil understood that there wasn’t any point in asking Dan, that he wasn’t doing anything anyway, it was just Phil telling Dan to get on Skype.

“Hi” Dan said, smiling against his attempts not to, it was the first time in two days that he’d seen Phil and it was surprising that it had only been that long.

“Hey, how’ve you been?”

“Truthfully? Sad, bored, lonely, my brain has decided that this would be the perfect time to have an existential crisis which sucks because I can’t just go into the other room and have you make me feel better because you’re not here, and it sucks. I want you to have fun, I really do, it just is kind of shitty having you so far away right now.”

“I’m sorry love, but I’m coming home tomorrow so it’ll be okay, just one more day and then we can sit on the couch and I can hold you and you can tell me all about what’s been bothering you.”

“I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too, how did we ever used to do this all the time? We used to be able to go weeks without seeing each other and  just  talk on Skype and now it just seems like something that’s a step up from a phone call.”

“Are you kidding? After we met that first time just talking on Skype sucked, half the stuff we used to talk about was how much it sucked not living closer, do you really not remember that?” Dan questioned.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right, I just kind of take having you constantly around me for granted and then stuff like this happens–”  
“–don’t forget that you’re going to Florida with your family in a week and a half.” Dan interjected

“Shit you’re right, aw no that’s going to suck, and the time zones are going to be all off. At what point will we have been dating long enough that you can just be considered part of the family and I can bring you along with me?”

“Probably after we tell the internet.” They spent the rest of the night talking, until Phil noticed the time and remembered that he still had to stop by Paris before heading home and he decided to call it a night.

Dan woke up on too early on Friday after a shitty night’s sleep because he still was shit at sleeping alone and he was excited because Phil would be coming home that night but that wasn’t until late and he had a whole day to kill. And because his brain decided that when Phil was gone was the best time to have an existential crisis he somehow managed to kill eight hours by just staring blankly at the TV, not even paying the slightest attention to the baking shows that were on. He then ate and made up some excuse that kept him from working on his latest video and went back to sitting on the couch. Before he knew it he had wasted the whole day and it was time to go pick up Phil.

  


Despite the fact that they day had gone very quickly, the ride to the airport seemed to take ages. He could tell that the cabbie was annoyed with his incessant tapping and checking of his phone but he couldn’t stop. Every second seemed like a minute and every minute seemed like an hour and Dan was pretty sure that in the past three days the airport had been moved a hundred miles further away but it was okay. Because in the end he got to the airport and Phil’s plane even got in a few minutes early so he was nearly done at baggage when Dan got there and by the time Dan pulled up in front of where he was to exit he was ready and waiting. Dan gave the cabbie specific instructions to not leave, that he was just going to help his boyfriend get his things into the car. Then he rushed out of the car and over to Phil and gave him one of the biggest hugs he’s ever given anyone really.

“I’ve missed you so fucking much,” Dan mumbled into Phil’s neck as he tried to regain his balance after Dan nearly knocked him over.

“I’ve missed you too,” replied Phil, putting his hand on Dan’s back and rubbing it, not wanting this moment to end, “but we really do need to get in the cab.”

“Oh yeah, okay,” Dan said, blushing as he backed away from Phil, grabbing his bag before he could protest and making his way to the cab. They got in, both in the back seat because neither of them wanted to be up next to the driver when they could be beside each other. They sat as close as possible–with Pihl’s bag on the other side of Dan–while Phil talked animatedly about his adventures through Europe. Dan listened closely all while holding Phil’s hand and trying to convince himself that it was okay now, that he had Phil and it was all going to be fine.

  


The following day followed in much the same fashion. Phil would randomly tell Dan a story about his trip and Dan would never leave his side. Phil could tell that he was trying to be subtle about it, trying to not invade on his personal space too much, but he still followed Phil around the flat and sat closer than he ever did. And Phil didn’t mind, because in the end he missed Dan just as much as Dan had missed Phil.


End file.
